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."The old gentleman paused then said, "Thirty three years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman;I thought you were bringing her back." Have a good day, Sir," replied the copper.QueenslandThe owner of a golf course on the Gold Coast was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.He called her into his office and said,"You graduated from the University of Queensland and I need some help. If I was to give you$20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"The secretary thought a moment, and then replied,"Everything but my earrings."TasmaniaA senior citizen in Tasmania was overheard saying,"When the end of the world comes, I hope to be here."When asked why, he replied,"I'd rather be in Tasmania 'cause everything happens in Tasmania 20 years later than in the rest of the world."Northern TerritoryThe young man from NT came running into the store and said to his mate, "Johnno, somebody just stole your car from the parking lot!"Johnno. If someone at that moment had proposed branding the word RAPIST onto my forehead with a hot iron I should have accepted it meekly as the least I deserved, and if a policeman had come into the room I should have given myself up on the spot. But when the door opened, it was not a policeman that entered. It was Vicky, with a large tray of food and drink. I had no appetite for it but I knew I was exhausted and in need of sustenance so I ate and drank mechanically. As I did, women gathered round me and tried to find words of consolation. Connie made the first offering, demonstrating that she had at least worked out what the problem was. ‘She’ll be fine about it when she comes round,’ she said. ‘She wasn’t fine about it when I did it, was she?’ I retorted. ‘We did it, darling,’ urged Wendy. ‘It wasn’t just you. I’m also guilty.’ ‘You are,’ I agreed, ‘but I don’t see how that’s any comfort.’ ‘I know,’ she said. ‘You’re right. It was just the power of the moment. It seemed to overtake us.
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